On the evening of August 6th, my baby got another little bit of herself back. She rode a bicycle again!!!!
It's so cool and it has made my year yet again with Mic being able to do a few of the things she used to. I unfortunately was out, when she did this for the first time, and only got to see her ride the next day.
You can't imagine how proud I'm feeling. Each day, she goes outside and rides and gains more confidence.
All the neighbours came out to watch her and were amazed at how unafraid she was to try to ride again. They've all commented on how fantastic it is to see her outside doing things she used to, and how it helps Mic to appear normal to the other kids. I think there may have been a little tear or two of happiness in their eyes.
On the medical side, she's outgrown her splint again and has been told not to use her cane unless she is walking far distances. This isn't because she's any better at walking, I think the physio is just trying to get Mic to use her body to balance rather than rely on the cane.
But hey, at least my baby has clawed back a little piece of her old self back, and for that I am extremely happy!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
The forensic details of 7/9/08
Today we got the police reports and witness statements from our attorney. It doesn't make for pleasant reading.
The thing that disturbs me most is that when the police had sat in my living room and told me that they were thinking of closing the case, THEY HAD NOT YET TAKEN A STATEMENT FROM THE DRIVER!!!!!!
The first time they have a statement was 2 weeks AFTER Mic was home. WTF?????? Do you want to know why? Because, the forensic details of her phone were released on 29/10/08. The day before Mic was released from hospital.
The forensic report shows that 1 minute before the accident the driver received a text message from her boyfriend. That was 2 minutes before she phoned 999. She phoned her boyfriend 17 minutes after hitting Mic. While my baby lay on the floor bleeding........
It makes me mad. Looking at the photo's, with Mic's shoe laying by a gate, her jacket on the pavement where it was left...it makes me cry. Everyday I look at my little girl whose life has changed so much and I hurt so much inside.
While this driver's life continues on in a sense of normality, my daughter struggles to live her life in the way that she should. The driver says it has changed things for her...I bet it has, but not nearly as much as it has changed for us.
Yes, Mic may have been at fault and stepped out - the witnesses said she did look before crossing - yet the driver claims she did not see pedestrians. She noted that her mother (who was behind her in another car) had let another vehicle pull into the Tesco express, yet she did not see any pedestrians. She did not know where her phone was at the the time of the text, yet 2 minutes after the accident, she not only found it, but placed a call to the emergency services.
I was not upset with the driver or anybody else at the time of the accident . I just wanted my baby girl to live. Now, right this very minute, with my child downstairs struggling to follow a simple story line of a movie, I am angry. I am very angry! Between this woman, her mother and her boyfriend and the distractions they caused, knowingly or not, has resulted in my child's life changing.
I no longer want to be calm. I want to scream and shout and have a tantrum. The way the police handled this case is shocking! I have always been an advocate of the services, defending the way they have to deal with tough situations...until now. Appalling!!
To top things off, I was told at work that I don't smile enough. Welcome to my world! Live a day in my life and see your child suffer and struggle with pain, and know that you can do nothing to help. YEAH great reasons to smile every day.
The thing that disturbs me most is that when the police had sat in my living room and told me that they were thinking of closing the case, THEY HAD NOT YET TAKEN A STATEMENT FROM THE DRIVER!!!!!!
The first time they have a statement was 2 weeks AFTER Mic was home. WTF?????? Do you want to know why? Because, the forensic details of her phone were released on 29/10/08. The day before Mic was released from hospital.
The forensic report shows that 1 minute before the accident the driver received a text message from her boyfriend. That was 2 minutes before she phoned 999. She phoned her boyfriend 17 minutes after hitting Mic. While my baby lay on the floor bleeding........
It makes me mad. Looking at the photo's, with Mic's shoe laying by a gate, her jacket on the pavement where it was left...it makes me cry. Everyday I look at my little girl whose life has changed so much and I hurt so much inside.
While this driver's life continues on in a sense of normality, my daughter struggles to live her life in the way that she should. The driver says it has changed things for her...I bet it has, but not nearly as much as it has changed for us.
Yes, Mic may have been at fault and stepped out - the witnesses said she did look before crossing - yet the driver claims she did not see pedestrians. She noted that her mother (who was behind her in another car) had let another vehicle pull into the Tesco express, yet she did not see any pedestrians. She did not know where her phone was at the the time of the text, yet 2 minutes after the accident, she not only found it, but placed a call to the emergency services.
I was not upset with the driver or anybody else at the time of the accident . I just wanted my baby girl to live. Now, right this very minute, with my child downstairs struggling to follow a simple story line of a movie, I am angry. I am very angry! Between this woman, her mother and her boyfriend and the distractions they caused, knowingly or not, has resulted in my child's life changing.
I no longer want to be calm. I want to scream and shout and have a tantrum. The way the police handled this case is shocking! I have always been an advocate of the services, defending the way they have to deal with tough situations...until now. Appalling!!
To top things off, I was told at work that I don't smile enough. Welcome to my world! Live a day in my life and see your child suffer and struggle with pain, and know that you can do nothing to help. YEAH great reasons to smile every day.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
9 months exactly
Wow! 9 months ago this time, we were at Birmingham Children's hospital. MJ was in A & E and fighting for her life. They were struggling to get tubes down her throat. So many people working on her little body and all I could do was watch. So many syringes filled with fluid being pumped into her. Her clothes cut off.
9 months later and MJ is much stronger. She's attending school from 11am to 3pm everyday and in September she's going full time.
She still falls over often, sometimes because she's tired and sometimes it's because she might trip. I've tried to explain to Mic that I need to know when this happens, not to prevent her from having her life, but to find out why she falls and help her live a full life, but others might need to help her more. She's so afraid that I won't let her out. If only she she knew that every time she steps out the door I'm petrified and have to stop myself from pulling her back in.
Her walking is not so great these days either. She has to stop often and complains her knee hurts. It worries me. She's so stubborn that sometimes she won't say that she needs a rest and tries to push her body to do more than it's able. I watch her and listen to her laboured breathing and tell her to rest. I think I'll have to start taking the wheelchair our more often for her.
Other than that, she's been reassessed at school to see what level she's at. There are some improvements, and I'm hopeful that MJ will at least get to a level close to her actual age, so the difference won't be too noticeable amongst her peers.
She is really looking forward to the holiday, as are we all. It has been well deserved and will be much appreciated. I know that I'm looking forward to the break, not just for the break itself, but we will spend time together as a family. Only Ash and Sam won't be with. One day, we will all go on holiday together.
9 months later and MJ is much stronger. She's attending school from 11am to 3pm everyday and in September she's going full time.
She still falls over often, sometimes because she's tired and sometimes it's because she might trip. I've tried to explain to Mic that I need to know when this happens, not to prevent her from having her life, but to find out why she falls and help her live a full life, but others might need to help her more. She's so afraid that I won't let her out. If only she she knew that every time she steps out the door I'm petrified and have to stop myself from pulling her back in.
Her walking is not so great these days either. She has to stop often and complains her knee hurts. It worries me. She's so stubborn that sometimes she won't say that she needs a rest and tries to push her body to do more than it's able. I watch her and listen to her laboured breathing and tell her to rest. I think I'll have to start taking the wheelchair our more often for her.
Other than that, she's been reassessed at school to see what level she's at. There are some improvements, and I'm hopeful that MJ will at least get to a level close to her actual age, so the difference won't be too noticeable amongst her peers.
She is really looking forward to the holiday, as are we all. It has been well deserved and will be much appreciated. I know that I'm looking forward to the break, not just for the break itself, but we will spend time together as a family. Only Ash and Sam won't be with. One day, we will all go on holiday together.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Almost 9 months
So, this two year window is racing by very quickly. I'm increasingly worried about MJ's schooling. We've looked at sending MJ to a special school where kids have varying degrees of difficulties. Only problem, the medical and educational staff don't think it's appropriate for MJ as most of the kids that attend have cerebal palsy and they feel MJ will stand out and know that she's different. NEWS FLASH!!!! She already knows she's different in main stream schooling and she does stand out! Having the sticks helps to make that more of a sore point for MJ. I just wish they'd start to listen to what she wants. More than anything, MJ wants to be normal. They don't deal with her daily frustrations and conflict within. MJ remembers how it felt to run, ride her bike, swim, climb trees. Now, she can't walk more than a few yards before she experiences severe pain.
Her frustrations are so bad she cries so hard and then lashes out. She struggles to find the right words to convey how she feels. I know she's frightend to tell the staff and medical professionals what she truely feels as she thinks she will be in trouble.
We only have two years to ensure that MJ get's as much educational support as she possibly can, because of the brain injury. Whatever stage MJ is at after 2 years, that's where she will be for the rest of her life. So imagine this: If MJ only has the reading age and vocabulary of an 8 year old NOW...without the proper support in place..will she still remain at this level for the rest of her life? YES! Can you imagine when she's in the prime of her life...I can't bear to think of it. WHat kind of employment prospects will she have? She won't be able to go shopping which leaves her open to being taken advantage of. She won't be able to rent or buy her own home.
If she get's the support she needs, then her choices are endless. I just wish everyone would remember that the choices they make MJ has to live with....
Her frustrations are so bad she cries so hard and then lashes out. She struggles to find the right words to convey how she feels. I know she's frightend to tell the staff and medical professionals what she truely feels as she thinks she will be in trouble.
We only have two years to ensure that MJ get's as much educational support as she possibly can, because of the brain injury. Whatever stage MJ is at after 2 years, that's where she will be for the rest of her life. So imagine this: If MJ only has the reading age and vocabulary of an 8 year old NOW...without the proper support in place..will she still remain at this level for the rest of her life? YES! Can you imagine when she's in the prime of her life...I can't bear to think of it. WHat kind of employment prospects will she have? She won't be able to go shopping which leaves her open to being taken advantage of. She won't be able to rent or buy her own home.
If she get's the support she needs, then her choices are endless. I just wish everyone would remember that the choices they make MJ has to live with....
Saturday, April 25, 2009
New developments
MJ is back at school and her schedule has changed. Needless to say I think it is playing havoc with her at the moment and her fatigue levels waiver from day to day. As this was only the first week of the new schedule, I'll see how she is at the end of week two and if she's still so tired then I'll have to talk with the school to see how things can be changed. She is also trying out a new programme in which she listens to classiscal music to help with memory recall and it's supposed to help relax her. I don't believe it's having that effect. She seems quite stressed by it.
MJ has a new splint. This new one allows for more flexibility. It has a hinge just below her ankle, so she is able to walk better.
Took her swimming today to try and work some of those core muscles. It's a little difficult trying to help MJ to trust me in the water and also trying to teach Cort to swim. Dave doesn't like public pools much, and even though he was with us today, he was extremely uncomfortable. Hopefully before our holiday starts, I will have succeeded in teaching both children to swim.
Things are a little harder for us now as Ash works full time 12-8. We now need to employ a carer not only to assist with MJ, but to help out with picking up Cort etc.
Ugh I tell you, things just seem to get more complicated!
There have also been times when MJ won't eat anything. Why that is I don't know, but it is just disconcerting.
On the up side - and there is always an up side - MJ still manages to laugh everyday. She still loves life and tries to get as much as she can from it.
I'd love to take a page from her book and laugh more often instead of worrying all the time.
If the weather holds out tomorrow, we are off to the beach. Time to tan our extremely white bodies!
MJ has a new splint. This new one allows for more flexibility. It has a hinge just below her ankle, so she is able to walk better.
Took her swimming today to try and work some of those core muscles. It's a little difficult trying to help MJ to trust me in the water and also trying to teach Cort to swim. Dave doesn't like public pools much, and even though he was with us today, he was extremely uncomfortable. Hopefully before our holiday starts, I will have succeeded in teaching both children to swim.
Things are a little harder for us now as Ash works full time 12-8. We now need to employ a carer not only to assist with MJ, but to help out with picking up Cort etc.
Ugh I tell you, things just seem to get more complicated!
There have also been times when MJ won't eat anything. Why that is I don't know, but it is just disconcerting.
On the up side - and there is always an up side - MJ still manages to laugh everyday. She still loves life and tries to get as much as she can from it.
I'd love to take a page from her book and laugh more often instead of worrying all the time.
If the weather holds out tomorrow, we are off to the beach. Time to tan our extremely white bodies!
Friday, April 3, 2009
Sad times
Well, today has been very emotional. Recently my mother in law passed away, quite unexpectedly albeit peacefully. The strain has hit Dave quite hard as he tends not to release his emotions in full view of everyone. Today was the funeral. Mic misses her nana so much and I think that for both her and Ash, the realisation that they will never see their nana again hit home. Thankfully Cortni is too little to fully understand and I never took her to the funeral. I remember going to my grandad's funeral when I was 5 and didn't want the same memory for Cortni.
My children were dignified in their grief and hugged their grandad, dad and uncles and I think they understood and respected the loss that the boys felt and still feel.
As for MJ in general, she's doing okay. Her school time table will alter after Easter and she will get the chance to join her class mates in Art class.
We received the cognitive assessment from the psychologist and basically MJ will need a lot of support and will struggle to keep up with her peers. In a nutshell, MJ will have to do vocational training. What that will be exactly, we are not sure, but MJ has a while yet, before she makes that kind of decision.
It will be MJ's 12th birthday on Tuesday. 7 months after her accident. Today, I kept thinking how 7 months ago things could have been so different and I could have buried my child. I really do not think that we could have coped as individuals or as a family if we had suffered 2 losses in such a short space of time.
When I chat with people about how long it has been, the surprise on their face astounds me. I think that they think it has been so much longer. 7 short months of pain, fear, trepidation, happiness and loss.
I'm hoping and praying with all my heart that the next 7 months will be filled with happiness, laughter and excitement. NO MORE TEARS!!
(p.s. Thanks to all for their kind words and sympathy during our family's time of grieving)
My children were dignified in their grief and hugged their grandad, dad and uncles and I think they understood and respected the loss that the boys felt and still feel.
As for MJ in general, she's doing okay. Her school time table will alter after Easter and she will get the chance to join her class mates in Art class.
We received the cognitive assessment from the psychologist and basically MJ will need a lot of support and will struggle to keep up with her peers. In a nutshell, MJ will have to do vocational training. What that will be exactly, we are not sure, but MJ has a while yet, before she makes that kind of decision.
It will be MJ's 12th birthday on Tuesday. 7 months after her accident. Today, I kept thinking how 7 months ago things could have been so different and I could have buried my child. I really do not think that we could have coped as individuals or as a family if we had suffered 2 losses in such a short space of time.
When I chat with people about how long it has been, the surprise on their face astounds me. I think that they think it has been so much longer. 7 short months of pain, fear, trepidation, happiness and loss.
I'm hoping and praying with all my heart that the next 7 months will be filled with happiness, laughter and excitement. NO MORE TEARS!!
(p.s. Thanks to all for their kind words and sympathy during our family's time of grieving)
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Bubble wrap
If you guys know where I can get a lifetime supply of bubble wrap, let me know. I need it so my kids can stop hurting themselves.
I took Ash to the doctors tonight as she fell down the stairs and was in serious pain. She's fractured her coccyx. Another year, another wrinkle, another grey hair and more broken bones. Why my kids? Is this karma? Jeez...I'm sorry already! Move on already and leavy my kids alone!
I've told my kids that for halloween, they are going as sphere balls!
MJ had a rough time in physio today. The physio tried to explain to MJ that they need her muscle at the back of her leg to lengthen, otherwise she will need surgery later in life. MJ was petrified at hearing this. I tried to explain that later on in life could mean many, many years from now and she shouldn't panic. I think with the tiredness from school and all the stimulation, she was feeling a little emotional.
They are also talking about putting MJ's leg in a cast during the Easter break. I don't think MJ quite understands why, but basically it's just to get the muscle to flex differently. Because MJ is walking and landing with her toes first, the muscle is balling up. Basically, that's not good. I'm sure they'll get it sorted, but it'll take time.
So, with Ash being injured, looking after Mic, who is injured, does this mean I have to get Cort to look after Ash? What a wicked world I live in...lol
Seriously though, I am very worried about Ash. She is a mini me and is stubborn and determined. I know she will push herself to do things that she shouldn't. Problem is, with an injury like this, only time can heal it.
I took Ash to the doctors tonight as she fell down the stairs and was in serious pain. She's fractured her coccyx. Another year, another wrinkle, another grey hair and more broken bones. Why my kids? Is this karma? Jeez...I'm sorry already! Move on already and leavy my kids alone!
I've told my kids that for halloween, they are going as sphere balls!
MJ had a rough time in physio today. The physio tried to explain to MJ that they need her muscle at the back of her leg to lengthen, otherwise she will need surgery later in life. MJ was petrified at hearing this. I tried to explain that later on in life could mean many, many years from now and she shouldn't panic. I think with the tiredness from school and all the stimulation, she was feeling a little emotional.
They are also talking about putting MJ's leg in a cast during the Easter break. I don't think MJ quite understands why, but basically it's just to get the muscle to flex differently. Because MJ is walking and landing with her toes first, the muscle is balling up. Basically, that's not good. I'm sure they'll get it sorted, but it'll take time.
So, with Ash being injured, looking after Mic, who is injured, does this mean I have to get Cort to look after Ash? What a wicked world I live in...lol
Seriously though, I am very worried about Ash. She is a mini me and is stubborn and determined. I know she will push herself to do things that she shouldn't. Problem is, with an injury like this, only time can heal it.
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