Update from Terri

Many people have asked me how we are coping as a family, as parents and as a mother. The honest answer is I don't really know. No-one knows how they will react in situations forced upon them, until it happens to them. I can tell you that it's been an emotional roller coaster that I never want to go on again.

I cannot go into detail of how the accident occurred, purely because I was not there and I don't want to speculate. All I know is that my life changed forever on September 7th, 2008.

For the purpose of McAyla's friends who may read this with their parent's permission, I will start at the beginning.

Sunday afternoon, McAyla's neighbourhood friends knocked on the door, asking if she wanted to go with to the shops. I didn't have a problem with this as I know McAyla is careful on the roads. The funny thing is, I don't think she really wanted to go as she rolled her eyes when she asked. I told her not to go if she didn't want to. She went anyway.

A few moments later, there was a loud knock on the door. I opened it and McAyla's 15 year old friend (who shall remain nameless, as she is not aware of the blog) screamed out "McAyla's been hit by a car!" Daz was laying on the couch but as soon as he heard, he was out of the door and running down the road in his socks. I pulled on trainers and followed. I cannot tell you if I left the door open or not. I know I left Cortni standing in the lounge. I don't even know if she followed me out the door. Luckily, Ashley and Samantha were at home to look after her.

About half way down the road, I passed the social club and heard somebody say something. I suddenly stopped running and wondered if I really wanted to see what was waiting for me around the corner. Then I thought about my baby laying in the road and I started to run again.

As I turned the corner, I saw the ambulance, paramedics tending to McAyla, Daz walking, fingers linked behind his head, police stopping traffic and turning them away, McAyla's friends crying and walking toward me. I ran to McAyla and saw blood pooling around her head, her face was pointed to her right and her forehead looked like it was split in two. I touched her and spoke with her, reassuring her of my love. I looked for Daz. He was sitting on the pavement, colour had drained from his face. There was a blonde woman with him, talking to him. I noticed McAyla's trainer on the pavement and looked for the other one. I couldn't see it. I looked at her feet and noticed the tops of her socks had holes in them. There was a man, not in uniform, but helping McAyla. I saw high heel shoes and keys neatly on the pavement. This seemed odd to me. The blonde woman approached me and I noticed her feet were bare. I later learned she was an off duty police officer and the man helping McAyla was an off duty doctor.

All of this seemed to happen in slow motion, until I saw Ashley coming up the road crying and panic in her eyes. I hugged her and told her to go home. I needed to be with McAyla and I needed Ashley at home to look after Cortni. A neighbour walked her away.

I asked the paramedics if I could go with them in the ambulance. They agreed and loaded McAyla up first and I had to sit in the front. It was at this point I got to walk around the car that struck my baby girl. The only thing I saw was the impact point on the windscreen.

We drove to County Hall and met the air ambulance. Again they took McAyla first and then loaded me up. Only once in the helicopter, did the tears start to stream down my face. We arrived at Birmingham Children's Hospital and they whisked her into A&E. I had to wait until the helicopter cleared the air space. Why, I don't know. Then I was taken to see McAyla in A&E and that's when I got really scared. I have never seen so many people work on such a little body, just trying to save her life. They told me everything they were doing, but for all the money in the world, I cannot remember half of it. Once they were happy, they sent McAyla for a CT scan, which is like an x-ray of the brain.

I met up with Daz who had arrived at the hospital during this time, and we were then sent to wait in the parents waiting room in ICU. Time passed very slowly as we waited to see MJ. When we did get to see her, it was very scary. There were tubes and wires going into her, a monitor was above her and there was a ventilator breathing for her.

That night, we didn't sleep much. In fact, for many nights we didn't sleep properly or eat. For the 9/10 days that McAyla was in ICU, I kept a bedside vigil, occasionally swapping with Daz. McAyla was eventually moved to ward 10. On Friday 19th, she opened her eyes fully for the first time. I was so excited. The only problem was she didn't seem to recognise me.

As each day passes, she makes a little more progress. On Tuesday, I noticed she was moving her tongue in her mouth and it looked like she was trying to say something and becoming frustrated. So, I decided to pull tongues at her and make funny shapes with my mouth. When I told her to pull her tongue out, she did! Yesterday she had a physio session and they were very happy with her progress. Whilst she can't sit on her own yet, she tried to roll over when asked and lifted her right leg on command. She looked for me yesterday when asked and that made me so excited. Oh, and in case you were wondering, even if you are sick, you have to go to school! The teachers have been up 3 times to see McAyla, but each time she's been asleep. Do you think she does it on purpose?

McAyla tires easily now and there will be many things she needs to learn again. Once she is feeling stronger, we will arrange visiting times for you all.

For those grown-ups who ask about the driver, she is devestated by what has happened. She phones the police everyday to find out how Mic is doing. I harbour no ill feelings toward her or Mic's friends. She has to live with the same image I do...and worse. As far as Mic's friends are concerned, we have spoken with the parents and offered to get the kids counselling should they need it. At the end of the day, in situations like this, nobody is a winner, but everybody does lose something.

Thank you all for your kind words, prayers, cards, letters, poems and teddies you have sent. Thank you to all the staff at Birmingham Children's hospital who have endeavoured to give my child the best possible care. Thank you to the kind police lady and the doctor who stopped to assist. Thank you to the paramedics and the air ambulance staff for their quick response. Thank you also, to all the people on my street who have looked after Cortni and after us as a family. Thanks must mostly go to the nurses in ICU who brought a smile to my face even in my darkest hours. I am truly indebted to you all.