So, it's finally 2009, and we are already a little way into it. I can't believe that in a few days, it will be 4 months since MJ's accident. More appointments and assessments start this week, but the one I am most interested in is the neuro consultant assessment on the 16th.
4 months of progress, some quick, some slow, but progress. As the year started, I gave MJ the biggest hug and thanked God that she is still with me. I then ran around the house and hugged each of my children, grateful for their love and in my heart wishing them all the good things that life has to offer.
Yesterday, I took the two youngest girls to a play centre. They were bored and I needed to see how well MJ would cope with climbing and sliding and crowds. She did amazingly well although she tired easily. I asked Cortni to look after Mic when they were inside the nets, but as usual, MJ left her sister behind and went off to do her own thing. This left me worrying needlessly about both girls, but it's one of those challenges we had to face. Both girls had a fantastic time, and MJ is still a little sore today.
Life can sometimes be so hard, and I keep wondering why? Why my little girl? What is the greater plan for her? Sometimes I look at Mic and I marvel at what a fighter she is. Sometimes I look at Mic and I cry.
The questions are unreasonable, and I know that I will never completely know the answers. But, being in my position of not knowing what happened, gnaws away at my very soul.
Since the new year began, I have reflected a lot on what has happened, and still tears well up. Today, I put all the newspaper articles in the photo album, and as I read through each one again, I was amazed at how raw the emotions are within me. I put on the brave face for Mic and the girls, and save my tears for when I'm alone.
If I behave strongly, than I will be strong. This is my new motto in life.
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