School

I'm sorry for not updating regularly, but things get a little hectic sometimes and I find myself running out of hours in the day. This entry is just to give that little more insight into MJ and to thank a range of people for all that they have done.

As far as MJ has come, she still struggles with following conversations, she struggles with attention and her short term memory is still an issue. She still goes through a range of emotions and sometimes overreacts to situations. How much of that is normal teenage girl stuff and how much of it is because of her injury...I don't know. I do know that I'm more protective of her now as would be expected. I still let her go out and hang with her mates, and I try to give her independence, but I'm also very aware that those that don't see MJ everyday don't fully understand what she's going through.

She is not always able to convey what she means in the right way. For example when she says she's special. Sometimes she's joking and sometimes she is being serious. I tell MJ that she is special. She is my daughter and is special to me. She is special because she has survived a very traumatic injury that should have killed her (and almost did). At the very least, it should have left her in a very worse state, but it hasn't and that makes her special. Sometimes, when she does daft things that make us laugh, we tell her she's a bit special, meaning she's daft. This is a family joke.

MJ lacks tact at the moment. What I mean is that she calls a spade a spade. If she's irritated, she'll tell you. She's not pretentious. If your hair is a mess, she'll say it in a way that will probably offend you. She doesn't mean it like that though. Obviously, if you do the same back, it hurts her too. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. We are open and upfront within our own home and we say things as we see them. McAyla just has to learn when it's appropriate. Imagine a child having a temper tantrum. Sometimes when we are angry, we'd like nothing more than to cry and scream and stamp our feet. We don't. We learn what is acceptable behaviour. McAyla has to re-learn appropriate behaviour too. Like with all children, it doesn't happen overnight, it will not happen overnight with MJ either.

I guess what I'm trying to say is have a little patience with MJ when you chat with her. Sometimes she's an 11 year old girl who's able to chat about fashion and boys etc and sometimes she's younger MJ trapped in her 11yr old body.

When I chat with her about the accident, sometimes she cries. Sometimes I cry. It's buried very close to the surface. She understands that our lives all changed and she understands how much we all love her and how close she came to dying. She cries when she thinks of the compassion her friends showed when she probably didn't even know who they were. I sometimes see tears in her eyes when she sees people with worse physical/learning difficulties than herself. She looks at her website and cries when she sees all of her photographs and reads the letters from all the people whose lives she has touched. I still cry when I read them.

So, MJ starts school on Monday. It's only for an hour, but at least it's a begining. Another landmark she has reached. I know MJ is a little scared and excited about starting high school. She's worried that her mates won't understand her disability and like any new kid, she's worried she won't fit in.

Needless to say, the thought of her in high school makes me proud, scared senseless, apprehensive and in general I feel like a nervouse wreck!!

She'll be picked up and dropped off by taxi. While it's great that MJ is now starting school, the physio sessions have moved to the afternoons. This is a problem as it's the school run time and Di won't be able to take MJ to physio anymore. I think we may have it covered with my father in law, but my mum in law is also very poorly most days and he is her carer and needs to look after her. It's another hurdle, but we'll get through it. I'm not letting it get me down as I know, one way or another, we'll manage. I just like to have the solution before the problems occur.

During the half term break MJ has tried trampolining again. She really enjoyed it, but hurt her ankle. Other than that, physio is going well, she's still enjoying hydro and this next week she'll be fitted for a new splint as she's quickly outgrowing the current one. She had a session with SLT and MJ was taught how to breathe when she speaks. MJ uses her shoulder to help draw in a deep breath as opposed to using her diaphram. Hence the whispering. We are still waiting for the results of the pshyc assessment.

Can I just add a huge thank you to Di Briggs for taking MJ to physio over the last few months. You have been fantastic and I am forever endebted to you.

Mrs Telgar at Nunnerywood High School for getting things in place so quickly when MJ was discharged from hospital. Also, thank you for understanding about MJ's shoe situation.

Mrs Hemmings for putting my mind at ease as to how and where MJ will start her school intergration.

Sarah Lane for getting the course work and teaching MJ at home.

Lynn Luchesse for understanding our needs as a family and for organising MJ's home schooling, re-intergration to school and the whole co-ordination of the different disciplines around MJ.

Nic B, Kim and Vicki and their families for being there with MJ when she couldn't communicate verbally, for including her in birthday parties, exercising with her and in general just making her feel normal. You have touched my soul with your kindness.

Dave's dad for helping out when we need you on short notice.

Ashley my beautiful grown up daughter things have been tough for you, but you have helped look after your sister and put your life on hold. I love you and I can never thank you enough. Thank you so much for doing all that you do.

Cortni my little baby for wanting to play with your sister, making sure she is safe even at your tender age and for giving MJ just that little bit of a hard time every now and then as sisters should.

Sam my 'adopted' daughter you too have been there for MJ, even before her accident. Thank you for being the shoulder for MJ to lean on when she cannot turn to others.